your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
