I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
