He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
