he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Small penises have feelings too.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
