btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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