Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
