What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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