Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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