i don't like sucking hair
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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