I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
