it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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