Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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