Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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