last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
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Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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