New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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