she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
