is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
