I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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