it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
