since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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