Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
