As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
