He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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