I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't deserve a penis
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
