it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
