i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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