Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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