We're like a lot better than the average bears
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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