what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
