So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize