no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
