i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
this will be a night to untag.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
