i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
