I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
