I think I am morally bankrupt
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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