Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
