i may or may not be watching the land before time
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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