An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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