i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
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He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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