I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
