Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
