why didn't you poke me back
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
