you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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