I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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