Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
