your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
