you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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