Don't you send me to vm
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
