there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
