i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
