shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i used baking grease as lip gloss
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
