somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
