Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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