oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
